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Resting For A Week…A Deep Inhale…(ToT)
3 last weeks were nightmare…I don’t know why…I was just feeling enough of living here…it’s still…I was unable to do things and things I was doing were a mess!…
This monday is still not a good Monday. No-spirit to start today…but I tried to start it by thinking: “Today, I’m going to play….”…play crochet, play business, play cooking…play, play, play…think that everything is fun…a little bit lie to myself but my intention is to create my own world here…a playground world of mine…
I’m missing malls so MUCH! I said to my husband: I WANT TO GO TO MALLS…he said: I WANT TO GO CLUBBING…we both are pathetic here (T.T) …Since I can’t go to malls, I shop online…I’ve been shopping here and there…Thank goodness, he understands…I also make my own cold cappuccino(instant sachet of course)…feeling like i’m in a cafe…
Boy, it’s so boring hereeeeeeeeeee…my happiness feeling that I feel everytime my order arrives even is even dead already…I was not too excited (although relieve) when my order arrived a few days ago…Sometimes, it’s just toooo tired, too…I was too tired to wait all of them to arrive, too tired of living here…
I always say this to all people I know: yeah, living here for 3 days is cool, but 3 months…your brain may be sloppy already (our terms for “crazy, lunatic, insane”). My husband said this yesterday, be careful of what you wish for…he said so because when he was a kid, he had a vacation in a highland area. He loved it and wanted to live there…now?…he started to get insane like me, too (^o^)…while me?…I got de ja vu long time ago about this place…it wasn’t such a great feeling when I woke up (it was really-really de ja vu dream)…I forgot, I knew my husband already or not at that time…I can’t remember it because that dream is always felt close…very-very close…it’s always like yesterday, or just few days ago…it’s always like “new” dream…God was trying to tell me…this will be your place…Oh, dear God…my dearest God…I knew I could’t avoid this but…(T.T)…May be He wanted me to get prepared for living in a super uncomfortable, boring, and unattractive place…
Sometimes, I hate my 6th sense…I think I have it a little bit…it’s not just a feeling…but sometimes, it’s beyond than just a feeling…my 6th sense is dream or strong feeling (not just feeling-feeling like instinct…I don’t know…just something weird…)…I hate it sometimes when it’s in active position (read: I’m like connected to God without my conciousness or willing…)…because I can’t avoid it no matter what…
I’m not ready to do craft again, but I’m stepping cm by cm…mm by mm…slow but go forward…put all my mind in playground world, so I don’t feel like being tortured…
Oh, God, my dearest God…Get me out of here…Get us out of here…
Posted: Monday, November 3rd, 2008 @ 6:17 am
Categories: Dream (Literally), Life.
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