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If Only My Parents Would Learn
hahaha…
it was so ironic
my niece who is a very very easy person got into State University.
me? who is panic and dilligent (yeah, horrible, isn’t it? i was a dilligent, serious, geek studeng) didn’t make it once. I took another exam 2 years later then passed it
her faculty and mine are different, though. Even so, i remember what my sister told me when they had already given up that that girl would fail the exam. hahaha…
my parents never appreciated (til now actually) me and always push me to the corner. when i didn’t make it, they laughed or did not comfort or being cynical or in the worst condition “mental tortuuuuuure”. hahahaha. when i tried too hard, they would say, she try too hard (so irresponsible, eh?). I think although i wrote in ‘past tense’, it’s still happening until now…hahaha… i really don’t care about their opinion anymore actually (be careful, parents…you don’t appreciate your kids, and you won’t be appreciated…it’s natural, actually…i didn’t mean it either but i was tired and gave up…it was like oh, well, whatever. pursue your own dreams, parents. don’t make me pursue your dreams).
I think it’s about time for them to learn that stupid pride is worthless and stop making their children making them proud by pursuing their expectation. We are human, parents!
Sometimes, i just want to say in their face: I KEEP MY FAITH (I’M NOT GAY OR WHATSOEVER, I MARRY WITH A MAN WHO HAS THE SAME FAITH & CULTURE. AMONG THEIR CHILDREN, I AM THE ONE THAT STILL GO TO CATHOLIC CHURCH). You are such lucky parents. (Because, they are too arrogant to admit that…blah…).
I know in their heart, they want to be a carreer woman. Hah! Yeah, i have the education background to achieve it but i do not have any desire to do it!
This is what i’ve been thinking: achieving high carreer…so…what? then what? have power, money…then what? what’s the satisfaction? i always imagine it is a ‘minute’ satisfaction then what? you want to conquer the world? the universe? the heaven? that’s so meaningless.
Glad, i found crafting is fun. it’s absolutely a small thing to my parents. They don’t even look at it (^O^). Again, if i haven’t succeed (not succeed in their term is the same as failure), they will laugh and mock. But what i do now is a universe for me.
From crafting, i know my capability is totally beyond what i did and achieved aaaand died trying when i was in uni. really. sometimes, i think, no wonder, a lot of people think i’m smart or clever or something like that. i even remember, in high school, a friend said to me that i can even achieve more than the number 1 rank student in our year. i just smiled and said, really? hahaha…i really didn’t take it seriously.
I said to my niece once long before the exam taken: “There’s nothing wrong if you can’t go to state university. It’s ok. It’s not a sin. The sin is when you are lazy. that’s the sin! but can’t pass the exam is not a sin. Sometimes, it needs luck, too, beside effort. Even a friend of mine got dropped out because she was lazy.”
I hope that will get through her and stuck in her mind forever.
My parents always adore such meaningless things just for their own personal pride. I don’t like it. I hope their philosophy won’t get through this young age.
There’s a difference between:
parents that are proud to their children for things they have achieved
and
parents that are proud to their children for things they have achieved to satisfy their parents pride
some parents that proud to their children like a parasyte. You know… when children fail, they leave, when children succeed, they bragging it all over the world. Like they have succeeded in making and helping their children achieve that.
and
parents that are proud to their children for any achievement, whether it’s small or big. And keep supporting them when they fail.
You know what? when i failed my first State uni exam, my parents were just silent and didn’t even comfort me (though I didn’t really need that). Their face looked cynical and they didn’t even want to look at me. For 2 years, i was tortured mentally and financially for entering private uni. First i thought because it was expensive but apparently it wasn’t. When finally, i got into State uni, they financed everything i asked…before, they even responded in rude way when i asked for more money to copy…yes, COPY some lectures notes. When i was in state uni…hahahahaha…i asked a BOOK (original, english, not translated), it was totally OK. (^O^)
Now, the only one i can think of is being grateful that Lord had made me that strong to live in such a family with such parents. I won’t judge them for what they do but I know my Lord is not blind. If He is, he wouldn’t give me a strength that big.
Being parents is never easy but once we are granted with children, better learn and alert ourselves. We are raising kids not pets Be grateful for good small things they have achieved and defended and throw aside for ‘big things’ that actually not really big. There are some important values and things than just being number 1 in the world
Posted: Thursday, October 1st, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Categories: Personal Thought (!).
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