When The World Seems Unfair To Me (1)
Today is my birthday…
I don’t know. I’m not quite happy. See the title. Well, that’s how I feel…
change the atittude?
I really don’t know what attitude that is able to encounter that…
Optimism?
Die trying?
I don’t know…
I really don’t know…
I’m always surrounded by loosers or some people who just want to take me for granted. Perhaps, that’s why I feel that way…
May be the best way to encounter this is by admitting their existence and then leave them at the same time. Still, i’m not sure myself about it.
I don’t mind about differences between people. It’s natural. But, I do mind when their thought and attitude intimidate in in such a way that it becomes annoying.
Come to think of it…Hmm…may be i shouldn’t let them do that to me. I shouldn’t care if they are angry or say nasty words to me (as imho, they are nasty to me…).
I’m amazed with myself that most people surrounding me are nuts. Haha. Or perhaps, actually, it’s the same with people with so so many friends more than mine. They are facing the nuts people, too, in the same ratio as mine (^O^).
You know what? I can’t bear nuts people in my life. Nope! and Don’t want it. Period. I’m not kind of person who plays as an ‘angel’ or let’s say ‘angel-wanna be’; this person feels like a savior or holy when they play as nice people, though some situation makes them nuts. Yet, they feel it’s the cross they must bear. They do things they don’t want to do
(Sometimes, I just want to say to this people: Hey, if you are trying to follow Jesus, why not try to see difference between you and Him? He sacrificed himself without regret and no hesitation. His passion is Love. It’s bigger than regret and hesitation and even hate. That’s why He could do it. He has ‘eternal fire’ inside which you may call it Passion of Love or to Love. Personally, I don’t think there’s a word: He HAS or SHOULD in His mind, instead, I’m WILLING…and it’s a pure willing. Anytime, I think, He could turn around and go. But you? you do it for…Him? Then, you suppose to be happy…and why are you looking like one bearing a big log on shoulder, and you are not ‘happy’…it’s painful, but I don’t see the passion when you are carrying the log. Be honest to yourself…do you have that passion? or are you trying to follow someone or some act that you don’t understand yourself…so, it’s actually not the other people that bother you but it’s you and your confused thought that bothers you…and it IS actually the log you bear…You are unsure about what you do…something wrong, but you can’t explain yourself. You don’t ask about right and wrong instead you are just justifying it. Learning is not doubting. And justifying doesn’t mean what we do or think is correct.)
I’m not that kind of people. I can’t lie to myself about this. I want to be able to see right or wrong but I won’t lie to myself when something is wrong and I justify it right if I do it…
No play as an angel…it’s hard…
Some people may see me as a demon (^O^). Sometimes, I don’t want that…
But may be…
It’s time to not really care about it.
I don’t need a statement like “oh, you are a good person” as a compliment from those people for them torturing me with their stupid theories so they can step their feet on my head.
May be, to be able to face this unfair world, I must be brave to pull out myself from those people. Being with them and letting them get into mylife bring me nowhere, just a gloomy stupid world.
Posted: Thursday, July 29th, 2010 @ 11:20 pm
Categories: Life, Personal Thought (!).
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